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Monday, June 4, 2012

Zombie Armageddon

We're already a few years into it, the long-dreaded Zombie Armageddon. As many of you know, science fiction tends to generate ideas that later become reality. The Star Trek flip-phones would now be considered old technology. Night of the Living Dead is now come upon mankind. It all started three-and-a-half years ago...

The real zombies aren't only in Florida. They're everywhere outdated and disproved liberal ideas are discussed. They're aged hippies teaching in universities who have lost the hair on top of their heads but still wear a long grey ponytail in back. They're Democrat politicians who still believe that simply handing out welfare benefits to the poor will end poverty. They're liberal media figures who slavishly praise Fidel Castro and rue the demise of the USSR. There are lots of zombies around. They do, in fact, crave brains--the young, impressionable brains of our youth. We send them to college to be educated and they come out speaking in zombie-English, half-formed thoughts repeated ad nauseum as if they are self-evident truths. Argue with them and their eyes glaze over. They may, in fact, physically attack you.

There is only one way to defeat these zombies. They must be forced to face reality. The chronically unmotivated must be made to feel hunger. If they want to earn a day's food, they must perform a day's labor. It angers me that the United States government pays for jobs involving manual labor when people are being paid to sit and keep Maury Povich employed. Politicians must be forced to pay the taxes they impose. A law should be passed mandating that anyone who votes in favor of a new tax or tax increase must file a 1040-EZ for the years in which the tax takes effect. College students must read Tocqueville, Aristotle, Plato, Edmund Burke, and the Federalist Papers. They must be made to understand basic market economics, including supply and demand, how people and corporations respond to incentives, and how the long term outcome of economic legislation may be vastly different from the immediate effects. They should be taught how and why Communism has never worked and why even the Chinese have abandoned it as an economic model.

A zombie's worst enemy is knowledge. Fortunately, liberal zombism is a curable disease. A dose of cold reality and a sustained dosage of time-tested Truth will cure all but the most severe cases. For example, it seems that this poor victim is irredeemable:

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